How can I let go of you when you are the one I love the most? How can I let go when I have molded you into shape? How do I let you go when I believe in you, when I believe that this is what’s right? Because it hurts? Because you are not getting the recognition you deserve? I am exhausted. You’ve worn me out telling me everything about me is wrong and that it is not going to take me anywhere. I don’t want to be special to anyone anymore because I am enough for me, special enough to me. I grew up this way because I chose to and I have always been fighting your incessant pressure on me to change. You chose the rarest of virtues and decided to donn them with grace at a young age. That is why now when you look around there isn’t anyone like yourself. You ask what is wrong with you for being so different? Nothing. Everything is right where it is supposed to be, the only way it should be.
Growing up you never witnessed much kindness so you chose to be kind. You saw how greed tore down homes so you decided to be generous. You were told so many times that you can’t get anything done right so you chose to become stubborn. You were told to assume everyone is bad until proven otherwise so you chose to trust and love others over choosing to protect yourself . You always believed that meticulousness and going over and beyond are key to becoming exceptional and so you chose to become a perfectionist. You’ve heard so many stories about heartbreaks and you have witnessed so many tears so you have taken an oath to try and never cause others pain and again went above and beyond and promised to bring others joy and so you chose to be funny. Stop it! Stop fighting me, I love you for who you are, for everything you have chosen to become. You lived watching how constant lies robbed trust and chose not to lie even if got you into so much trouble. You are not your father and you have not let your mother down. You are the most beautiful you that you could have ever turned out to be. More importantly, you are so by choice!
Now you want to convince me that kindness equates to stupidity and has been paving the way for people to abuse you? You come now and want to convince me that generosity equates to a waste of paper and is a reason behind financial instability? Now you come and equate being stubborn to ignorance and blame it for teaching you lessons and taking you places? Now you lie to me about trust and love, deny their existence, question their motive and equate them to vulnerability and gullibility, wiping them off of your vocabulary? Now you condemn your attempts towards perfection and equate it to failure? You mock your own humor and equate it to mere silliness? Seriously? You start by making choices altruistically then burn down bridges and demolish an empire that is worthy of respect? Your virtues aren’t to blame for your choices to implement them at times when you shouldn’t have. Take responsibility for your failures and shortcomings but don’t blame it on me for being me. Mistakes condemn certain actions and choices but don’t label an entire person as bad and unworthy. Maybe flawed, but never unworthy.
It is you and you alone who have betrayed me, you and you alone who have hurt me the most and jaded me the deepest. I’m tired of holding up guards, I’m tired of your uncertainty, and I can no longer observe in silence, I can no longer take the pain, stop it. You were very young when you made those decisions and chose to stick to them all. You were innocent and pure and you got stuck then and there and never had the courage to grow up. You are who you are, accept it. Choosing who you want to be wasn’t wrong, when you chose to forget why it all started in the first place is where you did yourself wrong.